See VS Whine

4 Dec

The good news has been trickling in slowly, but at least it is coming in. I received a “Good news! We want you!” phone call yesterday afternoon from a school that wasn’t really near the top of my list. Then the “Good news! We want you!” phone call turned into a “Good news! We want you! And we are about to give you dollars! Lots of dollars!” phone call, and I began seeing hearts in my eyes.

I have lived a fairly financially comfortable life, which has been underwritten entirely by my parents. I received scholarships to undergrad, so I’ve spent the last three and a half years floating around, taking classes for free. The concept of debt is very foreign to me–or was very foreign to me until I began the law school admissions process. Now I realize that ten thousand dollars is a lot of money. It is, in fact, ten sets of one thousand dollars, which, in turn, are ten sets of one hundred dollars. One hundred thousand dollars (times 1.5, taking into account potential cost-of-living expenses) is a lot of one hundred dollar sets. This is put into perspective when I consider how much Redken All Soft conditioner I could buy or how long I could pay for my BlackBerry data plan with that much cash.

While I may have thought when beginning this process that I would go where my heart led me, my heart is mostly leading me to follow the green. This, of course, raises the eternal debate about ranking, job placement, LRAP, etc. vs. scholarship dollars, and I do not have answers to those questions yet. Undeferable scholarship money also puts a damper on my plans to take a year off and learn to be a real person before law school.

The “Good news! We want you! And we are about to give you dollars! Lots of dollars!” phone call has quickly become a weight on my shoulders, killing all of my plans for next year and hindering my already hobbled decision making skills. I should be thrilled, and mostly, I am. Maybe the best thing for me to do now is focus on the immediate future, like finals and a literature paper that is not writing itself. And, on the bright side, I will now have further ammunition to use against pesky relatives at Christmastime.

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